Tomorrow...dum, dum, dum

Tomorrow night is Hannah's much awaited sleep study. Finally, after waiting six weeks just to schedule it. And then waiting another five weeks to get in. We have finally made it to the appointment that is making all of us hold our breath. Hoping, wishing and praying for answers. Trying not to dare to think, "Will we know why?". Oh, the hope. And trying to prepare ourselves for the very real possibility of another normal test. But there is one emotion that I wasn't really prepared for. Leaving Emily for a night.

This is Emily. She has a firm grasp of many of my heart strings.

These are Emily's curls that make my ovaries ache.

And here are the pig tails that remind me that even though she is in the full throws of toddler-dom, that my sweet, perfect baby is still in there. Somewhere.

 And this is what Emily does when I leave. Phase 1: The look

(Please ignore the dirty cheeks. Keeping this toddler clean is much harder than it looks!)

Phase 2:  The meltdown...

And then I feel like a schmuck. A schmuck that just stepped on a baby duck. Wow, that was graphic. Sorry about that. I have only been away from Emily overnight seven times. And out of those seven, five of them were in the hospital with Hannah. I am dreading the overwhelming guilt I will feel when I kiss those sweet toddler cheeks tomorrow night and leave. At least I'll have a board girl to keep me company.